"There's always a horny phase ..." Thranduil read out loud from a scrap of paper. He paused, and then continued reading, but silently.

"What is the meaning of those words, ada?" asked Legolas. They sat together in front of a fireplace in one of the great halls in the Mirkwood caves, alone save the old Wood-elf, Galion, who served them wine.

"It means that mortals are childish simpletons," replied the king. "They make a mockery of the sweetest gifts bestowed upon us all by Iluvatar with vulgarities." He crumpled the paper in his hands and tossed it into the blazing fire.